The Pressure is Building.

Looking at my app I have 193 days until the wedding.  I am getting very excited.  This weekend I went to be with my love and we watched Star Trek.   Awesome movie. While I was there, we also watched one of her favorite movies that  I have never seen, The Wedding Singer.

This movie hit a nerve for me.  How can some one go into a marriage that they don't want.  If we take the emotions out for a second, just the cost of a wedding is reason enough to make sure that it is something you want.  The fact that wedding cost so much for a single day celebration is kinda crazy. I understand though, it is a once in a lifetime celebration.

If we put the emotions back into this equations, I can't see how you can love some one and then just leave them standing at the altar waiting for you. (This is a common plot point in a lot of movies.)  I find this heartless and one of the meanest thing you can do to someone.  The least you could do is let them know.  They woke up that morning thinking that today they will be starting the greatest journey of their life with the person that holds their heart.  How do you think they feel after you have taken that heart and ran a steamroller over it.  If that pain is not enough you leave them standing there in front of all your friends and family to try to explain what is happening.  This is just not cool.

So, as we get closer I have been asked: Am I getting cold feet?  Why so soon? Am I sure if this is what I want? Am I scared?

All I can answer is that I have never been this sure of anything in my life.   Sure I am scared.  Life changes are scary but when my brain, heart, and gut all tell me that my beloved is the one right for me how can I deny it. Everyday I wake up hoping to see my love. On the days I am away from her, my heart breaks. So my answer to the ones asking me if I am going to fast I say I am not going fast enough.  There is a reason I have a website countdown to the day, a calendar in my office where I scratch off the days and an app on my phone that tells me how many days left. It is not the doomsday counter people want to make it out to be but the countdown to liftoff.

The shuttle is on the launch pad and the astronauts are chomping at the bit to hit the ignition.  T-193 days.... I can't wait!