Giving and taking...

Since we are seperated by 350 miles, my Fiancee and I talk a lot.  Most of my evenings, you can find me sitting in front of my PC skyping with the love of my life.  We talk about the upcoming wedding,  how our days were, plans for the weekend,   and just general stuff.  I will look at the clock and see that hours have past even though it seems like only minutes.



The other day she brought up an interesting question.  Why am I always the one who compromises? First of all I should explain what was meant.  When choosing a movie, or a restaurant, or activity I always try to do/go where I think she will like best.  For example I would not take her to see a animated movie but will go out and get tickets for the newest horror movie.  Another would be going to a Chinese Place vs a wing place.  I am not a fan of horror and although I like Chinese food it is usually not my first choice. It is not that I am doing something I hate for her just doing something that is not my top choice.

So, why do I do these things?

When is it my turn to get what I want?


First of all, it is not like I am doing thing i hate to do. I love movies but, horror is no where near my top choice.  I still enjoy the movie experience.  I will watch most things and have a good time.  She can't have spicy foods so unless we do pizza my favorite places are off limits. She also has a good taste in food so it is not like I am going places with bad food.
I guess it all come down to how I view my role. As the boyfriend/fiance/husband it is my role to make her happy.  I need to know what she likes and then take that into consideration when making choices throughout the day.

If I am the leader, or head of the household, I hold a lot of power in calling the shots.  I have to make sure I am not abusing that power.  If I do I will see an unhappy household and that is not what I want.  Another point is I am a giver by nature.  I feel good when I can make someone happy by giving of myself.  It is almost a two-fer as they say.  One, they are happy with my choice and two, I am happy that I could make them happy.  It is a win/win.

So that explains the why. The argument is still out for when do I get what I want.  As of right now I get what I want while we are apart.  I get to play with my miniatures during the week and can and do go to wing places too.  I watch my movies and TV shows while she is busy running errands or after she falls asleep.  "What about when we are married?" you ask.  we have already talked about me needing my space. We already talked about 40k night.  Usually I have to go to the shop straight from work so why not pick up some wings on the way.

There are many ways I can get what I want without making her sacrifice.  If I can do the things I want with out having her do something she doesn't, isn't that a good thing? When I do these things I don't see it as a sacrifice.  I see it as making my fiancee happy while enjoying the activity.  It is not like we went dancing or karaoke.  If we ever do those, it will be a sacrifice.

 as a side note: I have come to the realization that really only movies like Saw are off limits.  the horror genre has so many other facets that it is easy to find a movie that we both like. Sometimes, like in the case of Mama, I think I like it more.  

until next time...