Facing more questions...

Another week has gone by and the questions keep rolling in. I have had quite a few people ask me if I was sure that marriage is what I really wanted. The come in the form like: "You have to move where? Are you sure you want to do that?" or "Wow she is sick a lot. Are you sure you want to take that on?" or "Wow, your selling all these miniatures? Are you sure this is what you want?" 

The first word out of my mouth is "Yes" without hesitation.

I guess I am just a weird duck. In my heart, you know the one I have already promised to my betrothed, I feel that it is the only answer. I have always heard that I should follow my heart. I never knew that statement had a hidden clause of "only if it is easy."

There is no guarantee that love is going to be easy. To be honest I feel that love should be a challenge. If it is too easy how can it keep your interest. Sure there are smooth times they will be plentiful but every once in a while a speed bump should come along so you can take stock in your feelings. Re-energize you love and make you realize that this is the one for you. Without these speed bumps your love becomes common place. When that happens you start to take for granted the love you need to earn.

So, when asked, "are you sure you want to move?"

I answer "Heck yea, I want to be where my life will be complete."

"Are you sure you want to take that on?"

"Of course! Taking care of the one you love is part of a relationship. Wouldn't she do the same for me?"

"Are you sure you want to sell all of your minis?"

"Completely, I am going to be moving soon and the more I sell the less I have to move. Those armies are collecting dust and wanted to sell them a long time ago. This gives me the chance and a reason to get off my butt and do it!"

Are you sure this is what you want?"

"I wish I could make clear that I know what I am getting into. I have seen good marriages and bad, I have heard the horror stories and I am not scared. I have asked God for a chance to love. I have waited a long time. I have tried a few times but never have I thought this is the one. Until now."

"The woman I fell in love with is the right fit for me. When we talk about the important stuff we see eye to eye. We have had many similar experiences. We have a lot of the same worries. That is how I know she is right for me. That is who I fell in love with. That is the person I gave my heart. That is the person I want to spend the rest of my days with. I want to be there in good and bad, sick and health, rich or poor. It is a complete package."

"I know in my heart that we will face thing together. We are not 2 people struggling with life. We will be one united force. We will laugh, cry and fight as one and it will be glorious!"

and that is how I want to answer all those doubters. >_<

until next time...

T-137 and counting.

The hate game

I hear it all the time. "Doesn't she like us? Why does she hate the family? Is she avoiding us?" I don't understand where my family get these ideas. I am the youngest of 5 kids and have gone through the marriages of all my other siblings. Not once do I remember anyone of their significant others making an effort to bond with the family. The I only remember one of them doing a lot of interaction before during and after the wedding. I think that is because she was a high school romance. All the others were later in life when everyone has a job and a life and we are all busy. If my brother and his wife don't go to church at the same time and then doesn't go to lunch with the family it is ok because they have plans. But if my Fiancée doesn't make the 6 hour trek to do the same it is because she hates us. It frustrates me.

Yes I travel to see her more than she comes here but that is the way we planned it before she even left. We talked about the travelling and it is more feasible this way. She has suggested driving here and I usually reject it because it is easier and cheaper for me to do the traveling. My car is newer, I can bring items over to help ease the move in December, I only have to worry about myself when driving (no pet to worry about), and that I rather have me make that drive then worry about her while she is driving. After I explain it they look like they understand but, then the next week comes and she is not here and the questions come back. Are their memories that short?

I also point out that she is from a small family who is generally disconnected. They don't all live in one area. They don't have get togethers. Heck, she has lived there almost 6 months in the same city as her sister and you can count the times they have seen each other on one hand. So a family that Goes to church and lunch every week, has random get togethers for birthday and stuff is a bit out of the norm for her. She is feeling left out. If no one invites her to these parties how is she supposed to plan to come to them.

Deep breath....

Given time I think that my fiancée will become just another family member as much as any of the other wives have. I have a feeling that this is not about her not fitting in to the family but me moving away from the area. After I am married (or before if I find a job sooner than expected) I will be moving away so I will not be there every Sunday to organize our lunch schedule. I will not be there to do all the little maintenance on the house. They will have to step up in my absence. They have started to notice my absence because I travel every other week. So the family lashes out to try to figure out why I would not be there. For this I am sorry. I will miss the little things like Sunday lunch or playing hockey with my brothers. But I need to live my life and follow my heart. Right now my heart lives 350 miles away. It is hard enough to live with that pain.

Hopefully one day my family will understand. One day they will see the happiness that she gives me. Until that day I will endure their opinions defend her as much as I can and when the smoke clears I will be happy because I have found my soul mate and we will be one.

God Bless..